Days when the absence of you is present everywhere.
Days when even my bright smile can't cover up the immense pain I have.
I try to pretend like I'm fine.
But then a tear comes to my eye.
I'm not sure what is harder for me...
The memories of you... or the memories I know will never get to make.
I regret so much how our friendship faded.
I understand why you did it.
Sometimes I'm jealous...
But mainly I'm scared.
Scared I'll never see you again
Scared of what it feels like to be non existent on this earth.
I feel as though the void of you being gone will never be whole in my heart.
Sadness from anything else leads me back to you.
And I can't help but wonder If all my pain is held within you.