"I thank God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with Joy becuase of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began good work in you will carry it on to the completion until the day of Jesus Christ."
I heard a song today, while listening to my Pandora, it was I need you to love me, by Barlow Girl. A single tear escaped the corner of my eye. It would have made more sense to cry over the pictures I was looking at in my forensic science book, while reading the assigned chapter on dead bodies. But in fact it was not the song itself, nor the pictures that released the water from my tear duct. It was the reminder of why I liked the song so much.
My mom was great at buying us gifts. For our birthdays, for Christmas, and even for "good luck on finals" care packages. Her main expertise was buying very good contemporary Christian music for my sister and I. The year after she was diagnosed she gave me the barlow girl cd "another journal entry"
I had been very sad for some time. Again, like today just pushing everything and everyone away. I listened to the CD on repeat. The songs I felt had been written for me. The story of my life. So, today I downloaded the CD.
There are so many moments in life where you wish you could freeze them, and keep them in a little memory box forever. With the hopes of whenever you are down you can go back to this box and open in it up and look back at all of those times. Times like the first snow, where it glitters and glistens like a prairie full of diamonds. Or when someone says something funny and the entire room erupts with with a joyful song of laughter. Its moments like these that can take you back to a certain time and place, one where you may wish you never ad to leave.
My sister asked me to look up a verse, Psalm 28:7. While doing so, I turned to the booked marked page. Philippians chapter 1. That is where the passage above comes from. My favorite verse is "I thank God every time I remember you." However, I had never really read the entire passage...I would be lying if I said that after reading It, I felt it was just an ordinary passage and there was no coincidence behind it.
I feel these verse are not only about remembering my mom, but about the very simplistic essence of her life, and how her life is supposed to impact mine. From the day she was born she was angel, sent to worship God, and show others the way. "you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Her legacy, her love for christ, didn't cease when I said goodbye to her for the last time. In fact, it was passed on to me. To shine until that day comes, or God comes for me.
I guess, I don't know really why I blogged this. I just like sharing my little reassurances that everything will be ok. With my everyday discoveries and babysteps, it feels good to document them.